Yesterday it stuck me. It was the remembrance of looking back and knowing that I didn’t do my best–of how bad that feels. I had a deep realization that if I didn’t want to feel like that in the future, I would have to make changes in my present. I could not continue circling in my self-imposed comfort zone. I would have to break that habit and take concrete actions in the moment. I determined to do that. I determined to emerge.
I’ve moved. It was a month-long process. For the big stuff I had great help, and that made a huge difference. For the rest, it was a lot of trips up and down the stairs. Much of what I had is now in re-circulation, and I’m feeling better for having less. At last I’m settled in my new home (which feels wonderful) and in my new home town too (which feels somewhat strange.)
Now here is one thing that I discovered during the move. I brought all of my journals with me, and I was reading from some of them. It surprised me to see that I was working on the same resolutions in 1973 that I was working on in 2001, and that they are the very same issues that I am still working on. I thought I’d changed so much, but core issues are core issues I guess. Anyway, I’m making those resolutions again this year. I’m not one to give up.